Doubt ...

Races coming up.  Spartan Race in a week, Pisgah in 6 weeks.  I'm starting to worry.

Intellectually, I know I need to race periodically, and some of them are great fun.  Checking out new trails, good vibes.  I particularly enjoy team races.  Been a long time, tho.  Next summer I'm hoping there will be somebody out there healthy enough to help me meet a few of my goals.  I need another Death Race, or Trans-Rockies, or Rim to Rim, or whatever.  

But the Spartan Race?  Do I really want to jump over fire and climb greased walls?  Right now, it seems particularly far from what's been great about my return to the trails and mountains.  Being out there with Jax, the mist drifting through the trees, wind whipping across the ridges ... not the exact opposite of the Spartan Race, but not that far from it.  But Rick is coming, and I strongly suspect there will be the opportunity to sample a local brew or two.  I'll berate him about being slow and fat, knowing full well he could whup my ass like a scared little girl.  There is an upside to most everything, no?  I suspect as long as the Spartan remains jovial, I'll enjoy it.  As soon as the guys with the crested helmets and capes start taking themselves too seriously, I'll stop having fun.  Oooh rah.  Really?  Really?

Some of the goofiness of Spartan reminds me of the Living History Farms Race, outside of Des Moines, Iowa.  Held sometime around Thanksgiving every year.  Best.  Race.  Ever.  I've seen women run it in tuxedos, men run it in dresses, and a barefoot dude in a loincloth.  On Thanksgiving.  With bits of snow around.  Nutty.  Even saw a Chinese Dragon run it once.  Ever seen a Chinese Dragon come flying over an embankment to drop 3 feet into a frigid stream?  Now that's a good time.  So here's to hoping that Spartan will emulate Living History.  And I need to go back to Living History Farms.  Seriously.

Then there's Pisgah.  It's been over 7 years since I completed anything of this length.  I'm not getting ready fast enough.  This race seemed like a good idea a couple of months ago.  But my long runs are around 16 miles at the moment ... Pisgah will double that.  Double my long runs?  WTF?  Will I bonk 2/3 of the way through and get a DNF?  To be honest, 31 miles at the moment seems ridiculous.  I finished 14.5 the other day and was wrecked.  Granted, it was a lot of rocks and elevation change, but still ... doesn't seem on the same level as Pisgah.  Did I really used to be able to peel of 20 miles in the morning and then go to work?  When did I wake up and start seeing a fat, lazy, ass in the mirror?  Can I get back the glory days?  Statistically speaking, I should be able to get back to it and hold on for another 3 decades.  Crazy.  August is going to be interesting, no doubt.

I overslept this morning.  6:20 am my wife rolls over and pokes me ... "Aren't you supposed to run at 7?"  Ugh.  Not a great way to start the morning.  It went well regardless, once the scramble to get out the door was settled.  I suspect Jax was a bit confused, but as per usual, he took everything in stride and with a grin.  God I love that dog.  And I'm karmically sorry for abusing Katie's friend Steph.  I wonder if my face mirrors pain like that after a rough day on the trails?  Is she cursing the day I was born this very minute?

The Chia and Pinole are working.  Who knew?  No appreciable drops in my blood sugar today.  This is a big deal when contemplating a 31 mile race.  Better for me and much cheaper than GU to boot.  When did we stop paying attention to our ancestors?  When did we decide that we need to process the ever loving shit out of what used to be food and ship it 8000 miles to be consumed long after anything remotely natural has rotted?  When did we decide that we could improve hundreds of thousands of years of foot evolution with a piece of foam or two?  I drive down the street and see the 400 lb guy squeezed into his motorized wheelchair as it strains mightily to get him to where he's going.  Can gears and wires cry?  He's got ketchup stains on his shirt.  Tomorrow at work, he'll come in and ask me to give him a pill for his back pain.  Sure!  No problem!  Here's a little round tablet that will negate your lifetime of self abuse and neglect and make you forget the fact that your culture has failed you!  And here's another one that will encourage you to continue to avoid taking any responsibility for yourself whatsoever!  *sigh*

So I'll stick to the 400 year old cornmeal mix that might just be a great trick to get me through Pisgah.  And the Chia seed.  It worked today.  Today's trail was rough and muddy, but it was a good temp, not too hot.  I still felt good at the close.  Minus a tiny little ache on the dorsum of both feet.  This was worrisome.  Don't know what to say about that, as it lingers through the day.  The articles on metatarsal stress fractures drift through my thoughts.  Hate to say it, but it may be time to mix regular shoes back into my schedule.  Can't say that I'm excited about the concept, but I'm far less excited about the idea of a walking cast.  I'll keep an eye on this.  I need to remember to listen to my body.  It knows better than my head what's good for me ....